4 Things Wives Hate Hearing Their Husbands Say In 2024

 There are things a husband says that lead straight to an angry wife. While some depend on the context, others just need to leave our vocabulary altogether. If you want to be happily married, most of it is going to depend on how you communicate. It’s not always about saying the right things; sometimes it’s about not saying the wrong things. Here are 4 things wives hate hearing their husbands say.

Disconnecting

Each of these communicates that we are disconnecting from them or leaving them to fend for themselves in meeting the kids’ needs and responsibilities.

“I’m going out. I need some me-time.” There’s nothing wrong with the occasional me-time, but it does cost her. Make sure she’s OK before you go and those other times, you’re staying home so she can get me-time, too.

“Huh?” You’re disengaged from or, at least, not tuning into her.

“I’ll do it later.” What she hears, whether you mean it or not, is that she and what she needs are not important to you.

“Nothing.” or (Nothing) She wants to know what you are thinking and feeling. Nothing communicates nothing.

“I’m working late again tonight.” Nothing wrong with occasionally working late, but when it becomes frequent, she will assume you are choosing work over your family.

Condescending

Our wives are our partners, and these comments make them feel at best unappreciated and at worst like we think they’re inferior.

“Let me explain this to you in a way you can understand.” or “It’s easy…” In other words, you’re saying she’s not as smart as you.

“You spent how much?” Fiscal responsibility is important, and couples need to come to agreements, but this belittles her ability to make a decision.

“You’ve got it easy.” Essentially you are minimizing her struggles. It may look easy or easier, but until you’ve walked in her shoes, you can’t know.

“Well, then why don’t you (proposed solution to her problem)?” Most of the time she wants your empathy, not your solutions. Assume she is smart enough to figure it out.

“I’m paying for it.” Your money is her money too, no matter whose name is on the paycheck. A statement like this makes her feel like you are exerting power over her.

Invalidating

These statements communicate to her that what she is saying and feeling doesn’t have any merit. More than anything, wives want to be known, understood, and empathized with. These statements are dismissive.

“Relax!” She may be overreacting, but at least some of her feelings are valid. A reprimand is the last thing she needs.

“Is it your time of the month?” You might as well tell her that she’s crazy and laugh at her. (But don’t do that, either.)

“How many times do we have to talk about this?” The answer is actually as many times as it takes until it’s resolved. Otherwise, you’re communicating that your pride is more important than she is.

“I can’t do anything right.” If she’s overly critical, this is not the way to communicate it. All she is going to hear is that you can’t take responsibility, suggestions, or feedback.

“And here it comes…” If she is saying something over and over again, it’s better to get to the root of it rather than dismiss her point of view as a broken record. Deal with whatever she’s bringing up and maybe it won’t come up again.  

Devaluing

One of the most important things we can do as husbands is make our wives feel valuable. These comments achieve the opposite.

“What’s for dinner?” Don’t assume that dinner is automatically hers to make, otherwise she will feel taken for granted and possibly subservient.

“Wow. The house is a mess.” This is passive-aggressive, and it casts blame and judgment.