How Not to Address Your Wife During a Quarrel In 2024

 When I was young, like most teenagers, I could be brash and blunt with little wisdom to guide my words. One particular night, I was out with a group of friends (guys and girls) when a female friend and I started to make fun of each other. The verbal jousting quickly got competitive, even heated. Finally, I said something regrettably cutting, hurtful, and humiliating towards her. Saying the wrong thing can be like pushing an escalation button. With that in mind, here’s what not to say to your wife during a fight.

“At least…”

This is normally an attempt to quickly move beyond the issue at hand with a superficial silver lining. It belittles something she feels is important, disregards her feelings, and ultimately, it lacks empathy. Anything that follows these two words will only serve to deepen the conflict and disconnection.

“I don’t care.”

If this one comes out in the heat of an argument, it can cause significant damage. It will end all communication for the night. These three words have actually started more conflict in our house than anything else I’ve said. She might want help with a decision or my opinion. I say, “I don’t care,” meaning, “I don’t have an opinion. I could go either way.” What she hears is, “I don’t want to do this with you. I don’t care about you.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

She might be. She may be swept up in so much emotion and hurt that she is ignoring all reason and facts. However, she’s not going to be able to see it at this moment no matter how clearly you explain it, but especially if you say it this way. All it will do is throw gasoline on the crazy. It’s best to listen and acknowledge her feelings.